Bucket List

1. Get my Bachelor's degree in History and Secondary Education
2. Visit my sponsored "daughter" in Guatemala before she turns 18
3. Get my Master's degree in English as a Second Language
4. Speak Spanish fluently
5. Be vegetarian for at least 10 years (started August 2003)
6. Become an awesome mommykins
7. Adopt a dog
8. Adopt an older kid
9. Give someone my whole heart and marry him
10. Get a rosemailing tattoo dedicated to Grandma Lois
11. Get a Korean folk art tattoo dedicated to Grandma Sue
12. Move to Denver or Fort Collins
13. Teach in an inner-city school
14. Own and rent out a house for college kids
15. Hike to the top of Mt. Whitney
16. Use a film camera
17. Surf
18. Confess my feelings to someone I like
19. Travel to every continent...except Antarctica (South America, Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia)
20. Publish something (children's book, article, essay...something)
21. Do 10 consecutive pull-ups
22. Enter a photography/art contest
23. Attend a rally/protest for something I believe in (likely to be related to education)
24. Hit a moderately sized kicker in the terrain park...and land it :)
25. Personally visit at least ten Volcom Stores in the world (check: Boulder, CO; San Diego, CA; Santa Barbara, CA; Berkley, CA)
26. Attend Winter X-Games in Aspen, CO
27. Meet Dallas Green
28. Buy really terrible thrift store furniture and make it awesome
29. Solve a Rubik's cube
30. Write a love letter...snail-mail style
31. Have a really shitty break up and GROW from it
32. Paint a mural
33. Join a book club
34. Plant a tree
35. Visit Korea with my grandmother (pending grandmother's willingness to go...)
36. Take a heli snowboarding in some backcountry
37. Throw a Gatsby party
38. Have tea parties with my grandchildren (now that's thinking ahead...hopefully this blog will still exist in 50 years)
39. Kiss under mistletoe

Will add as I think of more...

Namaste.

Kins

If I Was A Simple Girl

Dallas Green is my homeboy. Putting my feelings into words like a boss...

With you on my mind and my heart in your hands screaming, "Break me." A coma might feel better than this. Sometimes I wonder why I'm so full of these endless rhymes about the way I feel inside. I wish I could just get it right. And like the sea, I'm constantly changing from calm to ill. But behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart. And maybe next time will be the right time. And maybe next time will be your time. These words might be too little too late and I'm afraid that I've already lost you. I'll dig for water and fashion our very own wishing well. Then we'll throw our coins down hoping to rid us of this little hell. Can I have you? You are all four seasons rolled into one. Bring me your love, tonight. No I am not where I belong. Because without you there, I don't think I could close my eyes. Stay close, remain next to me. I need to feel important. Please know that I am yours to keep.

But perhaps the most important thing he reminds me of...

When the wind does blow against the grain, you must follow your heart.

In an ideal world, I would be married to this man. I will settle for being in a serious relationship with his music.

Namaste.
Kins

PS: F. Scott Fitzgerald also gets me...

"He smiled understandingly--much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced--or seemed to face--the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself." - The Great Gatsby

98 Reasons

There are 98 reasons I am thankful for the year 2011 and they are all about 13 or 14 years old. Upon first observation of these children, one might notice the absurd level of energy, foul language, irresponsibility, unpreparedness, and general 'tude problem. But after my 16 weeks or so in their classroom, I began to see their humor, the cogs turning in their brains, their confidence in the classroom grow, and their unique personal perspectives making astute observations. They showed me how simple it was to gain their respect simply by showing them kindness and understanding and patience...with some yelling and lecturing about behavior.

I had a quarter-life crisis earlier this year where everything seemed to be falling apart all at once and I questioned becoming a teacher. Yet I could think of nothing else that I truly wanted to do. After a little breathing time, I picked up the fall semester to complete my practicum course work in a middle school with one of the worst reputations in the district. Intimidating at first, I was blessed with an angelic host teacher who had her shit together. There is really no other way of saying it. These kids will eat you alive at the first sign of weakness. More or less. Thanks to my host teacher's guidance, however, I did not become acquainted with the digestion system of eighth graders. A few nips here and there, but nothing major.

The fact that these kids pushed me so much and this teacher gave me so much support has really solidified my passion for teaching again. I feel like I have found my niche. December 16th was my last day with them and I wanted them to know how much I appreciated them and how much of an impact they had on me. So I made 100 of these and passed them out to each of the students...

One student offered me $3.00 for another one. More than a handfull of them kept the label with my note on it to keep in the clear cover of their binders. One student wrapped me up in a little bear hug. Two of the biggest "pain in the ass" students even neatly stapled the package back together to save half of the snack for later. I think they got my message :)

I'll never forget all the fart jokes, the counting down 3, 2, 1 for their attention and keeping them late when they didn't comply, the pencil throwing, or the questions regarding historical significance of drugs and sex to throw me off...sigh...

Namaste.
Kins